I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
