Christians are straight up FREAKS
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
