new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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