Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
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I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
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in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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