i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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