My cat gives me a boner
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
