so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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