im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
