Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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