found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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