Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
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Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
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I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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