she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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