i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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