Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
