so explain again why im purple
no
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize