for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The adults are the big ones right?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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