walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
