Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
