yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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