I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
A+ Viking dick
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
