took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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