just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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