Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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