You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
