Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
this will be a night to untag.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
