Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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