I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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