Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
