She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
