I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Panties = found
Randomize
