God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
FUCK WHALES
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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