idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
