Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
