Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
