So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
