I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
