new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
