I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
