Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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