I will die if light touches me.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
