my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize