My room smells like vodka and shame
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
