In the future we'll all be gay
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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