he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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