bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
They have beer where we have blood.
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