My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
