Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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