I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
