Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize