I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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