After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
