3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
