Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
