If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
