just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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