The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Operation Purity has been aborted
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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